Crime scene

Male-Only Crimes List

You are all undoubtedly familiar with various abbreviations used by law enforcement and courts to designate certain crimes. Commonly seen terms are:

  • DUI – Driving under the influence
  • MIP – Minor in possession of alcohol
  • VNCO – Violation of No-contact order

Some terms have also been coined by certain groups to designate non-crimes where police often seem to target minorities, such as:

  • DWB – Driving While Black

Well, TABS has uncovered a series of heretofore unknown crimes and their abbreviations, which police use only against men in domestic situations.

Unbeknownst to most men, they are committing “crimes” every day in their dealings with their wives or significant others. All the wife has to do is call 911, report the misbehavior, and the man will be summarily tossed out the door.

So, as a public service, to help better prepare you for what may happen to you at any time, we offer the following formerly classified offenses, for which you may get in trouble at home.

  • MWM – MARRIED WHILE MALE
  • PWM – PARENTING WHILE MALE
  • FTYW – FAILURE TO YIELD TO WIFE
  • WOLL – WEIGHT OVER LEGAL LIMIT
  • WOLL – BB WEIGHT OVER LEGAL LIMIT WITH BEER-BELLY ENHANCEMENT
  • HTR – HOGGING THE REMOTE
  • DWW – DISAGREEING WITH WIFE
  • MIPM – MALE IN POSSESSION OF A MIND
  • OIJ – OBSTRUCTION OF INJUSTICE
  • RFA – RESISTING FALSE ACCUSATIONS
  • RDVII – RESISTING DV INDUSTRY INDOCTRINATION (When sent to DV Perp Treatment Re-education)
  • MID – MALE IN DENIAL (OF BEING AN ABUSER)
  • ESR – ELUDING SOLE RESPONSIBILITY (FOR MARITAL PROBLEMS)
  • AFS – ASKING FOR SEX
  • SNS – SAYING NO TO SEX
  • PWHSWMM – PROTESTING WIFE HAVING SEX WITH MAIL MAN
  • VNCWPO – VIOLATION OF NO-CONTACT WITHOUT PERMISSION ORDER
  • WTMH – WORKING TOO MANY HOURS
  • NMEM – NOT MAKING ENOUGH MONEY
  • ATSWFSRMOLT – ATTEMPTING TO STOP WIFE FROM SPENDING RENT MONEY ON LOTTO TICKETS